Let Me Be Your Saviour
by VoiceOnPaper
Summary: Whilst loving her new life at NYADA, Rachel is hurt in a terrible way. All of a sudden, New York seems to drown her- she feels smaller than ever. How will she ever make it on Broadway now? In a desperate attempt to escape her horror, she confides in an old love, hoping he can help her. Finn is there for her every step of the way... Warning- Includes Rape. Rated M for language!
1. Demons of the Mind

**I'm back!**

**Sorry for any confusion, but I've changed my pen name from allthingsbrightandbeautiful326- I got sick of it!**

**Anyways, here's my new story, Let Me Be Your Saviour. It's an eventual Finchel story, mainly to please my friend on here- she knows who she is! It's set in season 4, so does start off in New York. The first chapter is kind of graphic, but it should be the only one. I'll let you know if that changes, though. **

**Disclaimer: I don't only Glee, just borrowing the characters. The plot belongs to Ryan Murphy, not me (sad face)**

**Hope you like it, let me know what you think :D**

**A xx**

* * *

_Chapter 1- Demons of the Mind_

The scenery should have been calm, relaxing, but for Rachel, it was anything but.

The sun was shining, the birds were singing and there wasn't a single cloud in the sky. Quite ironic, really, given Rachel's current situation.

Central Park is normally a happy place, which was what brought Rachel there. She was desperately hoping it would give her an escape, some freedom, from the current inner turmoil she faced. Sitting on the park bench, she stared into space as she watched all of the young children run free, still completely innocent with not a care in the world. **"I wish that was still me",** she thought.

She tried to focus on these kids, trying to remain calm and positive about her situation, but she just couldn't. No matter how hard she tried, how much she wanted to, even, she just couldn't. Her mind was racing. Forgetting was impossible.

She looked down at her torn clothes, her bloody wrists, and it all just came flooding back to her...

* * *

"No. No!" she screamed, as he had her pinned up against the wall, firm in his grip.

"Yes, yes" , he replied in mockery. He was loving this, loved seeing girls like Rachel as the inferior. Guys like this just want all the power.

Rachel squirmed in distress, trying to free herself from his grasp. Unfortunately for her, this only made him hold onto her tighter.

"Stop! No!" she squealed. "Ow!"

As he forcefully held her arms above her head, he ground against her, giving her a sickening taste of what was to come.

"Oh, come on! You know you want it," he taunted.

"I think you'll find that I most certainly don't."

She was trying to be brave, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't. Here was this complete stranger, grinding up against her, groping her, and was that... alcohol on his breath? Okay, so we'll add 'drunk' to that list too.

"Take off your dress." He grunted.

"E-excuse me?"

"You heard me. Take off your dress, or I'll do it for you."

She wished she'd worn her coat now, rather than just carried it around with her. Less flesh, less attraction to the male species, right?

"Come on, sunshine," he taunted. "Please me, pleasure me, give me what I want."

Rachel made another attempt at getting away, struggling against him. But the thing was, she was no match for the man's muscular stature.

"No!" he growled. "No one leaves me before I get what I want." He spun her around, face grazing against the scratchy surface of the wall. "You'll leave when I've finished," he said, zipping down her dress.

"Don't do this!" Rachel screamed, somehow managing to spin herself back round. "You're drunk, don't make this stupid mistake! Just don't do this to me, please..."

"I already told you," a determined looked sprung upon his face, "I'll get what I want, when I want, and what I want right now, is you." Sleazily, his hand started to work its way up her leg, and to where she didn't want to be touched.

Rachel tried to scream, tried to retaliate- anything- but she was completely paralysed by fear. As frightened as she felt at this moment in time, she just couldn't move. She felt weak.

She felt a breeze as she was stripped of her clothes. Now was the time to scream. However, as she opened her mouth to, he kissed her forcefully, slobbering all over her, thus cutting off her voice.

She tried squirming as a second technique, but just like before, the harder she squirmed, the tighter he held her. Nothing was of use.

"I told you I always get what I want," he laughed. One thrust. One scream. It was all over. That was all it took to strip Rachel Berry of her innocence.

"See you around, whore," was all she got as he shoved her to the floor, in the middle of an alleyway in New York City. There was no one around to help. She was alone, both physically and emotionally. Her body felt powerless. Her mind felt tortured. The only thing she could do now was cover herself up and run. Run as far away from this place as possible. Run to somewhere safe...

* * *

Which was exactly what brought Rachel here, to Central Park. It's safe in the park. It's a civilised place dominated by children. She'd be okay there. She couldn't escape emotionally, though. She didn't know what to do, or where to go from there. She was scared. She'd reverted back to her old childlike self. Unsure, insecure.

Making it in New York was never going to be easy, and this just proved exactly why. How could she move on from this? How could she ever make it on Broadway now? She felt dirty. Used and dirty. That's not good enough for show business.

Rachel was stuck in the hold of the demon in her mind. 'Rape', 'rape', 'rape', were the only words going round in her head at that present moment. Something she never expected would happen to her.

Rape... Rachel Berry had been raped. Destroyed by her attacker, and letting her mind do exactly the same...


	2. Scared by the Slightest Touch

**Thanks to those of you who followed, favourited and reviewed- it means a lot! **

**Now, this next chapter I don't know what you'll make of it. There's a lot of Cassandra. The thing is, I've always imagined that she can be nice when she wants to be, rather than the constant bitch we see her to be on Glee, so I don't know how you'll feel about that.**

**Anyways, either way, let me know! **

**Disclaimer- Unfortunately, Ryan Murphy still hasn't given me the legal rights to glee. He still owns everything.**

**A xx**

* * *

_Chapter 2- Scared by the Slightest Touch_

Life soon became pretty difficult for Rachel. Although she tried not to show it, she became pretty uncomfortable around all the boys she had to be around. Take Kurt, for example, 100% homosexual, gay Kurt. He should have been easy to deal with- he wasn't going to make any advancements towards her- but in her mind, that was all he was going to do. She still hadn't told Kurt about what happened. Heck, she still hadn't told anyone. It had been a week, and Rachel, too embarrassed, too proud, still carried a huge weight on her shoulders. All by herself.

It was worse for her in NYADA. All those dance classes... All those boys... It was a struggle to say the least. All week, she had been reluctant to get close to them. They had been dancing the tango, and Rachel, Rachel was just too frightened to let them hold her. All week she had been in Cassandra's bad books, getting on her every last nerve.

This particular class today just wasn't going well. They were practising lifts, and well, Rachel just hadn't felt comfortable doing that.

There was one lift that was really getting to her. She was in strong arms, and the idea was that he would lift her above his head, a bit like in Dirty Dancing. They were dancing into it, though, and to get there, Rachel had to slide up his front. It was meant to look sexy, elegant (after all, it _was_ the tango), but Rachel just felt disgusting.

Regardless, she gave it a try- she couldn't allow anyone to find out what had happened to her. She got close to him, beginning to lift herself up his front and he used his hands to help her up, sensing that she was struggling. Rachel hated it. It reminded her too much of her attacker's grinding, how he was pushing himself against her, forcing his presence... It made her feel physically sick.

She could feel his hands roaming, he knew he was just trying to help her, but it reminded her so much of, of, him...

The second she felt the motion travel across her bum, she jumped back quickly, yelling "No, no! Stop!," as she backed up into a corner.

"Rachel? Did I do something wrong?" he asked, soothingly.

She rapidly shook her head, all the while still backing up from everyone. There was just too many people, too many people watching the scene in front of them unfold, too many attackers...

"Then, what's the problem then...?"

"Excuse me." It was Cassandra, shoving her way through her crowd of students. No one interrupts her lessons. When she saw it was Rachel causing all the commotion, well, she was fuming.

"Schwimmer!" she shouted, causing Rachel to back away even further, reverting more and more into herself. "I'm talking to you, Schwimmer," she said, following Rachel into her corner. "Who do you think you are to interrupt my class?" Closer and closer she got, testing Rachel's nerves more and more. "Don't you think you've caused enough hassle this week, hmm?" She was right up in her face by now. "What've you got to say for yourself?"

Rachel was shaking like a leaf. Cassandra was so close, so intimidating, just like...

"Rachel! Are you even listening?!" Wow, first name, she must be mad. "Rachel!" This time, Cassandra physically grabbed her by the shoulders, in attempt to get some sort of reaction out of the girl.

She shrieked, dashing out of the room. She had to get away.

"Schwimmer! You come back here, Schwimmer!"

* * *

Outside the class, Rachel slid down against the wall, pouring her heart out. All the pain she'd built up over the past week had finally proven too much to handle. Turn out now; she fears even the slightest of things. She couldn't even deal with her dance teacher's presence. Truth of it was, she just didn't feel safe anymore.

To heighten this fear for Rachel, Cassandra was still on a rampage.

"Rachel?! You out here?" She couldn't see anyone walking down the hallway. "Maybe she got away," she thought. The teacher was about to turn around to carry on with her lesson when she happened to look down. And there she was, a sobbing Rachel at her feet. Now this- this she wasn't expecting. Rachel had always seemed so headstrong, even when she was putting the girl down. But now, even the slightest touch from one of her best students had caused her to freak out.

"Right. What's going on, Schwimmer?" She wasn't being nice exactly- she couldn't do that- but she did have to try and help the troubled girl.

She got no answer, so resorted to sitting on the dusty hallway floor next to her.

"Schwimmer?"

Still no reply.

"Come on, Rachel. I can't have you kicking off in my class and then crying in the hallway and just leave it. As much as I don't like you, I've got to show I care- part of the job description, of course."

Even a slight joke didn't make Rachel crack a smile. For all she had grown up, sitting there, curled up, looking so small, made her seem like a little girl again.

"I'm not leaving until you tell me," she urged.

Rachel sniffed. "I can't tell you."

"Sure you can. I know we haven't always saw eye to eye, but maybe I could help you."

"It's not you, I meant I can't tell anybody."

"Oh?"

She nodded. "And why's that?"

"I just, I just can't." She spoke in barely above a whisper. Anyone could see how broken she was inside now."

"Look Rachel, I get that you don't want to tell me, but until you let others help you, you can't help yourself."

Rachel looked away from Cassandra. She couldn't even tell Kurt this, how was she expected to tell her worst enemy?

"You don't have to give details, just tell me what's happened."

Rachel took a deep breath. "I was, I was r-raped," she croaked out, before bursting into floods of tears all over again. "I-it was... h-horrible!"

Cassandra, surprisingly, pulled the girl towards her, almost protectively. "Ssh.. I know. It's all going to be okay, you'll see. When did this happen?"

"Last week."

"That explains why you've been acting weird."

"I'm sorry."

"You've got nothing to be sorry for."

"I just- I just don't know what to do!", she suddenly let out.

"Unfortunately, there's not a lot you can do."

"How do you mean?"

"Rachel, let me tell you something," Cassandra started, sitting the girl back up. "But don't you ever go and repeat this. I've got a reputation to keep up."

She nodded in silent agreement.

"When I was still in school, freshman year to be precise, the same thing happened to me."

"Y-you? You were, you know?"

"Yeah," she replied sadly. "It was a long time ago, and like you, I didn't know how to deal with it. I'm not going to lie, it isn't an easy journey, but if you're surrounded by people who love and support you, you will and can get through this."

...

"Why are you telling me this?"

"I want my story to help you. I may be a bitch, but even I wouldn't want to see people, even you, go through this."

"Wow... Thanks, Miss July."

"It's okay. Now get yourself home, think things through, and I'll see you tomorrow."

"B-but, what about the rest of class?" she asked.

"Forget about it. You're obviously not up to it, so go home. You'll catch up." Jeez, she was being nice today, she'd have to go and yell at everyone now, crush some dreams a little. Cassandra July couldn't be seen as _nice._

"O- okay, if you're sure." Rachel got up to leave. If Cassandra came back stronger, so could she. It explained a lot actually, about her character, like, why she was so mean, why she was always putting people down. One thing Rachel knew now, though, was that maybe Miss July wasn't a heartless, manipulative cow after all.


	3. Surrounded by Those Who Love You

**Sorry I took SO long to update. I've got so much going on right now- it's pretty hectic. **

**Thanks to all the reviews, followers, favouriters, etc; means the world! **

**A xx**

_Chapter 3- As long as you're surrounded by those who love you._

It was only 11am when Kurt heard the door slam shut.

"Rachel? Is that you?" he called out. When he got no answer, he got up and walked out of his room to see his best friend locking the door.

"You're home early. Why are you locking the door?" He knew something had been up with her lately, but anytime he pressed the matter, she refused to talk to him.

Rachel turned around, Kurt noting her tear stained face. "Rachel? What's happened?"

Rather than answer, Rachel flung herself upon him, taking him by surprise, especially since she had made sure to keep her distance all week. "Sssh... It's okay, I've got you."

This only made Rachel sob harder. She felt so guilty for ignoring him all week, just brushing him aside as though he was nothing. "I'm so sorry," she sobbed.

"For what?"

"For ignoring you!" she wailed, "I've been so awful to you these past few days! How are you okay with me?!"

"You've obviously got stuff going on, sweetie. Come on, I'll take you to the couch."

When they sat down, Kurt brought up the all important question. "Are you ready to tell me what's going on now?"

Rachel sniffed, nodding as she did so.

"I- I..."

"It's okay, Rach," said Kurt, grabbing her hand comfortingly. "Just take your time."

"L- last week, when I was taking out the trash behind our building, t-this g-guy, he was d-drunk, he c-came up to, to me, and, and, h-he, raped me!" She broke down again, then and there, crying her heart out.

"Oh, Rach..." said Kurt, pulling her into a hug. "It's all going to be okay..."

"But it's not, though!" she screamed. "How can anything be okay anymore?! I don't feel safe, I can't go near guys, I've only just got near you again. Hell, I can't even be comfortable with dancing! Miss July sent me home!" Everything was just coming out all at once. Kurt pulled back, not really knowing what to do.

"Rachel, Rachel look at me."

She did.

"I'm going to help you get through this. It won't be easy, but I love you and want to help you. Can I ask, did you tell Miss July anything?"

"She knows. She was nice, kind of, it was weird..."

"Okay, so she and I both know. We can both help you..."

"I don't know if that's enough."

"We can only try, honey, we can only try."

And that's how Rachel woke up. She and Kurt had cried themselves to sleep, curled up on the couch, cuddling each other close. For the first time in that week, Rachel smiled lightly. She really did love her best friend.

Checking the time, she exclaimed, "Shit!" as she realised she had very little time to get to NYADA.

She'd only just caught the subway. She had to run, but she did it. Looking round for a seat, she noticed that the only one spare was next to a butch, dirty old man, so she chose to stand instead.

"Come on, miss. Sit down. I won't bite," he chuckled.

She ignored him. She just couldn't bring herself to reply to a man of his stature, even if she was filled with a subway full of people.

"What's the matter? You needn't stand."

What could she say to that? Feeling obliged, Rachel sat down, as uncomfortable as she felt, she couldn't just ignore the man. He'd done nothing wrong. He was only out to get her in her mind.

She felt her nerves grow more and more as the journey went by. He was a well built man, so she ended up being horribly close to him. So close, that their legs kept brushing against each other occasionally. Rachel could feel herself begin to panic, her breathing getting gradually heavier.

"You okay, sweet cheeks?" the man asked, hearing her panicky breaths.

She nodded nervously, not giving a verbal answer. Instead, she just breathed faster and faster, quickening the pace as she waited in anticipation for the train to come to a halt.

As it did, she was still at the height of nervousness, but also took a sigh of relief. The man got up before her, but in struggle to get up, pushed down on Rachel's leg to help him.

Before he even managed to get himself up, Rachel jumped out of her seat with a scream, sprinting off the subway and up the steps into the city faster than ever before. Everyone still on the subway looked at the man in shame, him hanging his head in embarrassment. He hadn't realised what he had done to the girl.

Rachel, even though she was still panting frantically, ran to NYADA, desperately trying to avoid another encounter with anyone in the city. It was at that moment when she realised how small she actually was in New York, how claustrophobic the people in the busy city made her feel.

When Rachel reached Cassandra's class, she was hyperventilating, tears gushing from her eyes. She couldn't go in and let her teacher see her like this, so she opted for sitting on the bench outside the class instead, hoping no one would see her.

Unfortunately for Rachel, this wasn't the case. Walking past the open door about to yell at one of her students, Cassandra saw the broken diva sitting outside, in exactly the same mannerisms as yesterday. Sighing, she made her way to the girl.

"Hey, Schwimmer," she said, sitting down next to her.

Rachel looked up. "I'm sorry", she blurted out. "I was going to come in, but I- I couldn't. I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! Please don't hurt me..."

"Rachel, I'm not going to hurt you. I just want to talk. You're hyperventilating; you've seriously got to calm down."

Like telling her that was going to have any effect. Instead, Cassandra just sat with her, saying nothing. She'd just let her sort herself out on her own. As long as she physically wasn't alone, she'd feel safer, coming round eventually.

When Cassandra heard her breathing begin to slow down, she spoke up.

"What happened? I thought I told you to stay home if you weren't feeling up to it?"

"I was though!" The nerves began to rise again. "I was fine!"

"Well you're not now, so what changed?"

"This guy, on the subway... He, he touched my leg. I- it's silly, b, but, I couldn't take it.."

"I get it, it's fine."

"You're not mad?"

"Of course I'm not. I told you yesterday, I totally understand what you're going through."

Rachel nodded. "Thanks."

"You won't feel scared forever, you know," the teacher told her, reassuringly.

"It feels like I will be. I can't even get the subway anymore. New York is scarier that I thought," the girl admitted.

"You've been through a lot, though. You know, you could always take some time. New York will always be here."

"What do you mean?" Rachel asked. "Like, go home?"

"Exactly. What did I tell you yesterday?"

"If you're surrounded by people who love and support you, you will and can get through this."

"See, there you go!" Cassandra smiled. "Here, you only have Kurt. In Lima, you have everybody."

"I- guess you're right. Wait, you're not just trying to get rid of me are you?"

Miss July chuckled. "Have I really had that much of an effect on you? No, of course not, you'll go far you will, Schwimmer. I just like to push you. As I said, New York will always be here."

"Would I be able to come back here, though?"

"I don't know, to be honest with you. You'll have to ask Madame Tibideaux. Just think about it."

She left the young woman alone to think. Could she really take a break from her dream? She did miss her family, her friends, but New York. _Her_ New York. Her heart had always ached for New York, and now she was thinking about leaving, after just a couple of months. God... This guy had seriously ruined her life. But then again, Miss July's words of wisdom were lingering in her mind;

_If you're surrounded by people who love and care about you, you can and will get through this. _


	4. Home

**It's been a while... Sorry the update took so long I've been super busy with exams. Anyways, here's the next chapter- stick with me :)**

**A x**

* * *

Chapter 4

Leaving NYADA was the only thing Rachel could think about all day. Pros? She'd get to be embraced by the love of her dads, friends and the only boy she'd ever loved. Cons? She'd be leaving her Big Apple dreams behind, less of a chance to get to Broadway. _If _she ever got to Broadway. She was doubtful that anywhere would want her now.. She wanted to leave, everything was just getting too much. She felt suffocated, even though she was in a spacious city. Millions of unanswered questions were swimming round in her mind, leaving her looking for what she needed to know. She'd leave, but she wasn't going anywhere unless she knew she could come back. She may be broken now, but she hoped she wouldn't stay that way forever.

With a knock, Rachel was about to find out everything.

"Come in." She heard Madame Tibideaux call out.

Rachel was shaking as she opened the door. The principal was a lovely person, but oh so intimidating at the same time.

"Oh, Rachel, what brings you here?" She was surprised to say the least. Rachel was one of the students she really wouldn't expect to come to ask for help, or anything, for that matter. She'd always came across as strong and independent, so it didn't seem all that conventional.

"I- I erm, was just wondering something..."

"Okay then. Please, take a seat. It'll be easier to talk that way." Though a powerful member of the academy, she was very friendly towards the more respected students. She liked Rachel, she liked her whole mannerism, and she knew huge things were to come from the girl.

As soon as Rachel sat down, Madame Tibideaux could practically see the nerves erupting from her body, nothing at all like her usual mannerism. It was worrying.

"Is everything all right?" the older woman asked, concerned.

Rachel nodded her head frantically. She wanted to leave NYADA for the time being, but she knew it would be impossible without giving her principal a valid reason. She didn't want to tell her anything, though. However, Rachel knew hiding everything would just be an impossible task.

"I, er, I was just wondering if, if a person wanted to leave NYADA for a while, would they erm, be able to come back?"

"You want to leave NYADA?" she asked, shocked.

Oh, well that worked.

Rachel's entire physical being adjusted at that moment. She sunk further into her seat, chewing on her sleeve, unsure how exactly to answer that question.

"I, um, yes, kind of... But I think, I think I'd want to come back..."

"Rachel, why? Why would you want to leave now, after everything you went through to get here? If you left, you'd have to re-audition if you came back, depending on the circumstances of course. I must say, I wasn't expecting this at all. What about all those dreams of yours? What about Broadway?"

Rachel didn't answer, leaving Madame Tibideaux's questions rhetorical. The teacher couldn't believe what Rachel was getting to. Possibly the most determined student in the whole of NYADA wanted to leave without a legitimate reason. Something seriously wasn't right here...

"Rachel, what's going on?"

"I- I...-" She didn't know what to say. She'd told two people this already, but that felt like it was out of sheer pressure.

"You need to tell me, I can't just have one of my best students leaving, Rachel. You're good for the school, you've got great things ahead of you," she said, encouragingly.

Rachel shook her head, not thinking these great things were going to come to her anymore. Madame Tibideaux was lost for words. How did this once-bold student come to be so doubtful?

"Please, Rachel. Tell me. If you want to leave, you'll have to re-audition to come back, but depending on the circumstances, we might just be able to hold your place. I've seen you do magical things with that voice of yours, sweetie, don't let that talent go to waste. Tell me what's happening, and we can see what we can sort out for you. I know something must have happened. You're Rachel Berry, you wouldn't just leave behind your dreams when you've been so determined to achieve them your whole life."

"I um, l-last week, I er- I was raped," she finally answered, sheepishly. Rachel couldn't look up at the woman in front of her now, couldn't make eye contact, couldn't stand to see the glaze of pity that was to wash over her eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Rachel. So sorry this had to happen to you, I really am. Just, tell me what you want to do, and we'll see what we can accommodate for you."

Rachel smiled inwardly, loving how understanding her principal was being. She wasn't ready to give up her dreams just yet, they were still very much there. She just needed to put them on hold while she sorted herself out, got her head together.

"I don't think I want to go for a long time, just a little while. I just can't deal with all these people in New York anymore. It's suffocating. I- I never thought I'd say this but, I want to go back to Lima. It's smaller there, I think I could cope better."

"I think we can sort that for you. Your place will be here when you come back, so take all the time you need. You can get through this, Rachel. It's not often I'd secure a place for someone, but under the given circumstances, and the fact that I know you'll go far, I don't mind this once."

A tear ran down Rachel's face. "Thank you... This won't be forever."

As Rachel got up to turn around and leave, she heard a "And Rachel, good luck", from Madame Tibideaux. She was so thankful to the woman. She didn't have to do that for her, but out of the kindness of her heart, she did. She was now a reason to get better- she couldn't let her down now.

Shutting the door behind her, she burst into floods of tears, happy tears, for once. She didn't have to feel like she was choking in life anymore. She was going back to a place where she felt comfortable, where there weren't as many people to potentially hurt her.

_I'm going home..._

* * *

Telling Kurt wasn't going to be easy, though. They'd moved in together for the lone reason that Rachel felt so alone in the first place, and now she was going to leave him. What sort of a friend does that? As bad as she felt, she knew staying in New York at the present moment was just going to be too hard. One bad event had ruined everything. And now she couldn't even feel comfortable in the city that she loved.

The very second Kurt walked through the door, she told him; "I've left NYADA", she said. It all came out as one huge rush, but she just didn't know how else to tell him. Best to get it out of the way, right?

"Don't let me get settled or anything, Rach." He started sarcastically. "Wait, what do you mean, 'You're leaving NYADA'?"

"Exactly how it sounds. I can't deal with being in a place where I don't feel safe! Everything about New York scares me! I can't do anything or go anywhere anymore without being absolutely terrified! I hate what this guy has done to me. I hate it, I hate it! But I can't change it either. I'm going to go home for a while, to sort myself out. Everything's sorted with Madame Tibideaux- she said I can go back as soon as I'm ready. I'm so sorry for leaving you here alone, I feel so guilty. I just-"

"Rachel!" Kurt cut her off mid rant. "It's okay, breathe. It doesn't matter that you're leaving me. I've got friends and I'm a big boy," he chuckled. "I can cope. What I'm really worried about is you. You're really just going to give up your dreams? Just like that?"

Rachel sighed. "Not give up, Kurt, put on hold. New York will always be here."

"But-"

"No. No but's, Kurt. My mind's made up", she said, sadly.

"What abou-"

"Kurt! Look, I'm sorry, but I'll be fine. I just need a break. It's not forever, not the end. I'm going to try and get a flight home tomorrow. Will you come with me to the airport?"

Kurt huffed. "Sure. Will you be okay?"

"I will be, eventually."


	5. Running to Safety

**I really need to get on top of updating this... Oh well! I do it eventually! **

**A xx**

* * *

"Will you cope without me?" Rachel asked, smirking.

That was the first time in a week Kurt saw a glimpse of 'Rachel'. The Rachel she'd been since, since... _him_, wasn't the Rachel he knew. He knew, just by looking at her, she was happy to be going home. Rachel being happy made Kurt happy. Yeah, this was definitely what was best for her.

Kurt smiled. "Of course I will. Will you cope without me?"

"I'll do my best," she smiled, sharing a nice moment with her best friend. Kurt pulled her in for a hug. "I'm going to miss you", he said, holding her tightly.

"I'm going to miss you too," she replied, trying to hold back a tear. "But, I'll be back. Anyways. there's always Skype. It'll be fine."

Kurt had missed that positive attitude. He couldn't be sad that Rachel was leaving, that would just be selfish. If this was what was best for the girl, then, he couldn't be happier for her.

"Flight number LIM946 to the boarding gates, please. I repeat, flight number LIM946." Well, that was her call.

Rachel pulled away from Kurt. "I'd better go, love you. " she said, turning round to board.

"Love you too, Rach. Feel better. Oh, and tell my dad to call!"

"Will do, Kurt. Bye."

Kurt watched Rachel go through the gate, already missing his best friend, now trying to hold back the tears himself.

_No, Kurt, don't cry. Think about Rachel. New York's not the best place for her right now. Lima is. In a weird way, home is finally where she belongs. She'll be back eventually, so yeah, don't cry. _

On the flight home, Rachel finally had some peace and quiet to finally just think. Something she never managed to get through all the hustle and bustle of New York.

She was going home, returning to Lima, something she thought she'd never willingly do. But right now, it felt like the place where she belonged. A calm town away from the danger just may be the correct environment to recover from an awful situation like Rachel's.

Although she was leaving her pride and joy behind, there was a great upside to Lima- being reunited with the people she loves. Her dads, her friends, glee club, Finn...

Finn... The couple's break up hadn't been the nicest. It was kind of sour, actually. Rachel regretted leaving him the second she'd done it, so she had some making up to do. Besides, surely Finn wouldn't want her now, when she felt she was damaged goods, would he?

Ha. The thought itself was just laughable to Rachel. Maybe she'd just have to settle for being friends.

Oh, how she missed him...

_"Finn! Finn, stop that!" she giggled. "No! I don't want you to!"_

_"Come on, Rachel, you know you want it!"_

_"Finn, I'm vegan. I don't want ice cream all over my face!"_

_They had stopped at Finn's favourite ice cream parlour. Finn got chocolate, and Rachel got vegan vanilla. And now rather than eat it, Finn was smothering Rachel's face with the creamy dessert. _

_"Oh, that's it then!"_

_Rachel had had enough. She tipped the entirety of the ice cream cone upside down on his head, so it stuck to his hair._

_"Rach!" he moaned. "It'll take forever to get this out!"_

_Rachel was in hysterics laughing at her boyfriend._

_"That's what you get! Karma, Finn, Karma," she taunted, jokingly. _

Rachel smiled inwardly at the memory. She'd took happy moments like that for granted at the time. She would never not appreciate anything ever again.

And her Dads. She missed spending time with them too...

_New York. 6 years old, the beginning of her dream. She'd hounded her dads to takes her for months, after seeing a local production of Annie, and they'd finally given in. The second she'd found out was the second she begun to pack._

_"Dad, Daddy, are we there yet!?"_

_They both sighed in unison at their excitable daughter. "We won't be long, honey." Her Dad replied. _

"_When we get there, can we go and see Annie?"_

_"You just saw Annie last week."_

_"Yeah, but that wasn't _Broadway._" She said, making her fathers laugh. _

She chuckled at the memory.

Rachel had loved that first ever trip to the Big Apple. That trip was the time she decided she couldn't wait to get out of Lima, desperate to head to the big city. And now, she had got there, she had just about made it. It was all she'd ever wanted. How ironic is it that now, she's heading back to Lima?

It wasn't that she didn't want to go back. She did. After all, she did miss everyone. But, New York was all she'd ever wanted, and maybe, nothing would be the same when she goes back. Maybe her place there will no longer stand. Maybe she won't fit in there anymore. She certainly felt she didn't fit in at her present moment. It was sad, really? What else would Rachel Berry do with her life? No. She would make it. She had to. For her own piece of mind. For her own sanity.

Rachel was thankful for the tranquillity of her flight. It was to be expected. Not many people would be heading to a small state like Ohio, let alone Lima. She was thankful for the spare seat next to her, that no one was up in her personal space. She didn't think she could cope with another subway experience like the day previous. That was horrifically embarrassing. The girl shuddered at the memory.

That wasn't to say the flight was nice, by any means. It was such a tiny plane. The seat pitches were small beyond belief, and there was very little legroom. Tight spaces had never been a problem for Rachel. After all, she had fought through packs of people for the top spot her entire life. But ever since the attack, she couldn't help but feel claustrophobic. Like she couldn't breathe wherever she went.

The guy behind her was snoring, the old woman across the way from her was drooling. The baby at the back wouldn't stop crying, the high on life child at the front was dancing. Okay, so maybe tranquillity was the wrong word. At least she was alone in her thoughts. But even those were dangerous. All she could think about was the terror she'd felt for the past week, how people would react back home. She didn't want to be smothered with their sympathy. She needed a break to get her head together. Sympathy looks weren't going to give her that.

"Miss, are you okay?" the flight attendant asked. She must have looked distressed.

"Fine. Do you know how much longer is left of the journey?" Rachel replied, politely.

"Shouldn't be long now. About 30 minutes?"

"Okay, thank you."

Yeah, she really couldn't wait to be home.

* * *

**Sorry about this chapter, it was more of a filler, so yeah, not my best work. **

**Anyways, reviews are alway appreciated :)**

**A xx**


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